Greetings,

This month we will be exploring the 10th Parami of equanimity (upekkha). In my opinion, all of the Paramis are helping us develop a capacity to be equanimous in a human life that is full of harm and unpredictability. The more equanimous we are, the more the other 9 Paramis become accessible and the more we develop the 9 Paramis, the more equanimity becomes accessible. Before we get too deep, however, we do need to make sure we're all on the same page. Because the mind’s understanding of the word equanimity is very different from the heart’s understanding of the word equanimity.

We can look to the dictionary for the mind’s understanding. If you look up equanimity in Webster, it is described as calm emotions when dealing with problems or pressure, and/or an evenness of mind under stress – nothing could disturb their equanimity. Some related words are calmness, cool, composure, repose, neutral (indifferent, nonaligned, hands off, beige, faceless, dull, flat, humdrum). It’s no wonder why we can’t seem to experience a seemingly equanimous approach to life. To the mind, equanimity is a boring, lifeless state and who wants to live a life like this?

The heart’s understanding of the word equanimity is very different. It comes from the Dhamma of the Brahma Viharas and is described as an unshakable balance of mind that is rooted in insight. Insight that is steeped in the 3 Characteristics, Conditionality and the 4 Noble Truths. Let’s call this type of equanimity “Upekkha” so we know what we’re pointing towards. Upekkha is the balanced or harmonious aspect of genuine love. It acts as an aid to and a check on the other three Brahma Viharas. It guards love from becoming self absorbed or possessive. It prevents compassion from succumbing to overwhelming or uncontrolled emotion. And, because of its natural restraint, Upekkha keeps sympathetic joy from tumbling into spiritual bypassing.

Upekkha is more than an unworldly type of love. It is a powerful, enduring state of mind that is part of the Seven Factors of Awakening. Gil Fronsdal describes this type of Upekkha as “seeing with understanding” or “standing in the middle of it all.” He says we cultivate two forms of Equanimity through Upekkha - the power of observation and inner balance. Gil’s description demonstrates how the heart’s understanding of Equanimity really shows up in the context of the human world we live in. A world that is conditioned upon the vicissitudes – what the Buddha called the eight worldly concerns or winds (gain/loss; pressure/pain, praise/blame; fame/ill-repute). These 4 pairs are all around us every day - all day. They are what fuels prejudices; preferences, biases, assumptions, judgments - everything that disrupts our ability to be balanced and harmonious with life. 90% of our life is consumed with trying to be on the upside and avoid the downside. Our reactivity is our pushing and pulling in life to get and/or stay on the good side of the vicissitudes. It’s no wonder that we live in so much fear and stress.

Given the amount of energy, stress and fear we have all been going through over this election cycle, exploring Equanimity is perfect for this month. We couldn't have planned it better. In fact, I'm teaching retreat at Spirit Rock this December 8-18. It's a 10 day retreat that can provide a refuge where you can cultivate the supportive qualities of stability & calm, well-being & contentment, and trust & confidence. I want to encourage you to consider setting an intention now to use it as a respite from all the mental papanca we have been dealing with for the last year. (Note: the retreat has lower than normal registration, so you're pretty much guaranteed a single room - shhhhhh.) I hope to see you there. In the meantime we will practice cultivating Equanimity (Upekkha).