Greetings,

This month we are going to explore the last poison - delusion. Delusion is both a poison in and of itself and a reason for the poisonous nature of greed and hatred. It's about confusion, ignorance, and our inability to clearly comprehend reality.

To begin with, we need to look back at the first two poisons. Hatred is basically the flip side of greed and vice versa. If you remember from two months ago, greed is this wanting. It is a wanting of something that's not here and where we are convinced that what we want is better. Whenever we are wanting something that is not being offered, we are at the same time not wanting what is being offered. Hatred is the underlying intention behind this not wanting. The more vehemently we don't want something the more greedy we become. Likewise, the more greedy we are to get something else, the more we ignore our hatred for what we have.

There's another aspect to greed and hatred that can really only be seen through the lens of delusion. This aspect is the "absoluteness" that comes with these poisons. This absoluteness is intertwined with the sense of self, our sense of ownership, and permanency. It's so intertwined with who we are that we can't perceive it unless we intentionally look for it. For example, any kind of wanting or liking in the mind is greed. Any kind of not wanting, not liking in the mind, is hatred. But could you really imagine not wanting/not liking something or being a human being without preferences? This idea of liking things or not liking things is part of who we are. My son was born not liking peas. He was a tiny baby and yet he was absolutely clear he did not like peas. This dislike of peas didn't come from conditioning. It showed itself the very first moment I gave him a tiny spoonful of peas. You would have thought he was dying. From then on, even if I tried to mix them in with something else, if he got a taste of peas he wouldn't eat it.

It's important that we recognize preferences are part of who we are. The problem is that we don't actually perceive preference. We just do what we like and we try to not do what we don't like. We don't see it as making a preference. This is delusion. When we can begin to recognize that there is an instinctive or natural preference operating, you can override that in the present moment. This capacity to override preference is what is so freeing about the Dhamma. Practicing with delusion is about learning to look for and challenge the priority we give our natural preferences. This basically means that Dhamma is about learning to be with what we don't like and let go of what we like without reacting out of greed or hatred.

This month we're going to look at delusion. We're going to explore how our lives become about me. I want to emphasize a point here, it's not wrong that our lives are "all about me." In fact, we need a healthy sense of self to awaken. The more you love and care about yourself, the less harm you will do to yourself and others. The stronger your practice becomes, the stronger your sense of self becomes and the easier it is to be with other "selves."

It's our ignorance or our inability to comprehend this sense of "it's all about me" that leads to dukkha. I have found that learning to practice with this poison in particular helps me see the other two with much more clarity. This can best be understood with a quote from Phillip Moffitt. He says, "This present moment may be characterized by _______________ " (fill in the blank - anger, worry, happiness, frustration, joy, inspiration...), but it doesn't define who I am. This is an important part of practicing with delusion. Who we are, are human beings with all of the baggage that comes with being born in a human body.

The more we're able to see how a moment is being characterized, the less reactive we get to what is showing up. We learn to practice with getting our preferences and what happens when we don't get our preferences. This is very much in keeping with the way the Buddha outlined the Four Foundations of Mindfulness. He specifically said to practice with the presence and absence of feeling tones, mind states, hindrances, and the factors of awakening. Becoming aware of the preferences that show up in every moment, and whether we are actually getting our preference or not, is very helpful in teaching us why we are reacting the way we are. So if you don't get a preference, you can expect your reaction to be one of anger, frustration, irritation... and likewise if you do get your preference, you can expect your thoughts and emotions to be more pleasurable.

When you practice this way it becomes more in keeping with the truth of the Three Characteristics we explored last quarter. We become more accepting of the flux of impermanence. We don't expect everything to be the way want it. And we stop taking experiences so personally. In effect, we become less reactive because we gradually begin to see the true nature of reality. Also, when we practice this way we can see the Four Noble Truths. We can recognize and understand the presence of dukkha, where we're clinging and how to let go and allow the moment to be as it is. We can see how hatred and greed affect our behavior through the Eightfold Path. This list can be endless. This month we'll look at all the implications of practicing with delusion.

With a deep bow...

Tuere